Romans 12 (NLT) A Living Sacrifice

12 And so, dear brothers and sisters,[a] I plead with you to give your bodies to God because of all he has done for you. Let them be a living and holy sacrifice—the kind he will find acceptable. This is truly the way to worship him.[b] Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect.

Because of the privilege and authority[c] God has given me, I give each of you this warning: Don’t think you are better than you really are. Be honest in your evaluation of yourselves, measuring yourselves by the faith God has given us.[d] Just as our bodies have many parts and each part has a special function, so it is with Christ’s body. We are many parts of one body, and we all belong to each other.

In his grace, God has given us different gifts for doing certain things well. So if God has given you the ability to prophesy, speak out with as much faith as God has given you. If your gift is serving others, serve them well. If you are a teacher, teach well. If your gift is to encourage others, be encouraging. If it is giving, give generously. If God has given you leadership ability, take the responsibility seriously. And if you have a gift for showing kindness to others, do it gladly.

Don’t just pretend to love others. Really love them. Hate what is wrong. Hold tightly to what is good. 10 Love each other with genuine affection,[e] and take delight in honoring each other. 11 Never be lazy, but work hard and serve the Lord enthusiastically.[f] 12 Rejoice in our confident hope. Be patient in trouble, and keep on praying. 13 When God’s people are in need, be ready to help them. Always be eager to practice hospitality.

14 Bless those who persecute you. Don’t curse them; pray that God will bless them. 15 Be happy with those who are happy, and weep with those who weep. 16 Live in harmony with each other. Don’t be too proud to enjoy the company of ordinary people. And don’t think you know it all!

17 Never pay back evil with more evil. Do things in such a way that everyone can see you are honorable. 18 Do all that you can to live in peace with everyone.

19 Dear friends, never take revenge. Leave that to the righteous anger of God. For the Scriptures say,

“I will take revenge;
    I will pay them back,”[g]
    says the Lord.

20 Instead,

“If your enemies are hungry, feed them.
    If they are thirsty, give them something to drink.
In doing this, you will heap
    burning coals of shame on their heads.”[h]

21 Don’t let evil conquer you, but conquer evil by doing good.



Self Confidence.

I need a dose of it, bro.
Maybe like, a life time supply.

I need to be confident in who I am. To know that I am what I am. I am who I am, there’s no one and nothing like me. Take it or leave it. If you take it, hold it. If you choose to leave it or replace it, then you were never worth my time to begin with.

Do as you please. Associate yourself with whom you wish, but you’ll never find another like me. 

Broads will be broads. Fools will be fools. But me darling, I’ll stay shining.

It’s not conceited. It’s knowing my worth.

….. Yeah, I need that. Something like that 24/7.


Why are you doing this, dude?! Like, are you trying to build an army against all of this? Are you trying to just get everyone on your side or something? Because none of it makes sense. I only pray that these people know us enough to not judge us by your story. Is this issue not enough to keep within our four walls? It’s already tearing us apart, what makes you think it’s smart to branch out to other people that are involved in all of our lives? 

You have no idea what damage you’re doing right now, not the slightest clue. Ooh, it’s so hard not to be angry with you. All this crap that you’re doing, all this trouble you’re starting, you’re making it really hard for me to be understanding towards you. 

You’re making it worse. I hope you know that. It’s stupid! It really is! You have absolutely NO right to be mad at me the way you are. None, not to this extreme. You’re going about this all wrong. Again, I get you’re hurting and I get that I don’t know the exact reason but you can’t get mad at me for not knowing when you’re the one not telling me! THAT MAKES NO SENSE! How are you going to be mad at me for not understanding you when you won’t let me talk to you? How are you going to be mad at me and say that I don’t know what pain you’re in? Well…. DUH!!! That’s not my fault! You’re choosing to push me out of your life. You’re choosing to shut me out. You’re choosing to keep me at a distance and tell me not talk to talk to you — SO DONT BE MAD AT ME FOR WHAT YOU WANT. 

Don’t you dare blame me for the pain you’re giving yourself.

This is getting old. I hope you figure it out soon.

Let’s be reasonable.

- It’s because I’m home alone, not at work and not occupying myself.
- If I were gone, I’d do the same. (I think)
- What’s it matter, I’m kind of … nothing anyway.

What on earth?

What’s wrong with people these days? Like, why is it that people are starting to think that it’s ok to talk to me the way they do? 

I hate it because of the way they go about it. It’s like:

"Hey, Eff you.
You suck.
You’re an idiot.
I hate you.
You’re terrible.
Shut up.
You’re an embarrassment.
Don’t talk to me.
Sit down.
BUT It’s ok though, because I love you. So, I’m allowed to yell at you and talk to you this way and hurt you. But, you’re not allowed to say anything, ok? Just sit there. Thank you, because remember. I love you”

Yeah, well screw all of you. I’m tired of it. Oh, but its ok. I can say this, because I unfortunately love you too.

So distant.

I never realized it until now how out of touch I was with people in my life. I know there are seasons, chapters, and waves of relationships that go by, but I never realized how distant I’ve become. 

I mean, we all have our own lives of course so we’re busy and I don’t expect to talk to certain people 24/7, it’s just really nice to be able to sit back and catch up with people. I realized that I have a lot of great relationships out there that I’m blessed to have. I’m happy to be able to be someone for that person to turn to. I like it because, in that moment they’re thinking of me. You know? Vice versa, of course. 

I definitely pray for these wonderful relationships I have to continue. I’m so appreciate to have them in my life. No matter where we are in the world, no matter how long it’s been since we’ve talked, no matter how long or short we’ve been friends it’s always great to be reminded how important you may be to others and how important others mean to you.

I knew I wasn’t crazy!

Finally a doctor that was legitimately concerned with my throat. I mean, it took 5 fricken E.R. visits.

I am the epitome of a lab rat for military doctors.

That doesn’t make it ok.

You can’t say hurtful things to people like that. You can’t do hurtful things to people like that. You don’t treat the people you love this way, not at all. Just because you end all your wrath with “I’m doing this out of love” does NOT make it ok. That does not make up for all the words you’ve said. That does not make things better. 

It’s unfair. You can’t say all these things and expect me to sit here and take all your stabs to my heart. No. That’s wrong. That’s rude of you. Who do you think I am, that you can talk to me the way you do and not allowing me to say anything back to defend myself. To protect myself from your hurtful words and your terrible actions. 

No, dude. Not cool, bro.

Quit blaming me for your pain. You’re making it seem like I don’t care and you’re making it seem like I had every intention of doing this to you. I didn’t. 

I get that you’re hurting, but what do you think you’re doing to me? You think I’m being selfish. You think I’m not taking any of this seriously. You think that I don’t care. Well, you’re WRONG. You have absolutely no idea the things I’m doing to take care of you. You have not the slightest clue of the pain I’m putting myself through to ensure that you don’t hurt any more than you already are. One being the fact that I’ve let you disrespect me. I can’t take that anymore. Again, it’s not fair. 

You can’t stab me in the heart and run away from the scene thinking I’ll be fine bleeding to my death. You think you’re the only one hurting? I’m here, watching you stab me repeatedly, as I remove a knife, to sharpen the next for you to throw again. Over, and over, and over, and over. I can’t do this anymore, bro. I’m only hurting myself by allowing you to treat me this way. Think about it. It’s exhausting walking on egg shells to please you, when you have great aim with that knife in your hand.

Its hard. Because, I feel bad for being this angry. I seriously, whole heartedly can’t imagine the exact amount of pain you must be feeling. But just because you’re hurt doesn’t give you the excuse to hurt everyone else. Lord knows I’m sorry, but I don’t know what to do.